How to be an asshole:

- Hate the following groups completely:
o Japanese
o Muslims
o Americans
o Communists

- Be hypocritical...want the Muslims to modernise, but praise the excellence of the traditional Chinese customs or some shit like that.

- Be unable to pronounce words such as:
o Yacht
o Blue
o Throat
o Favourite

- Assume you are ALWAYS correct.

- Be able to mass produce fake statistics and cite them with great certainty (maybe the deal is that the more you bullshit the more likely at least a bit of your bullshit turns to gold) - I mean, who knew that there were 17.5% Bidayuh or whatever in Malaysia...

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How to be my dad: do all of the above.

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Respect and all, but sometimes it's just like oh damn.