I am growing to like Holiday.

I am growing to like Fist Full of Fives so much. It is just way too much fun. I hope the fun never dies.

HOLY CRAP it moved from Holiday to Boulevard of Broken Dreams, WHILE ON SHUFFLE. How totally bizarre/freaky.

In the toilet, there is a magazine. It is called M2. It stands for Men's Monthly. It is a pile of shit.

I have a suspicion that by Men's Monthly, they are referring to "blood and bullshit coming out of their pussies for you to read and get annoyed at".

Read? Well, that's the premise of a magazine, isn't it? OH SNAP you got served this "magazine" is AT LEAST 60% advertising, if not actual ads then "advertorials" which are just so much worse because at a glance they appear to be informative and you know, everything an article should be but then SNAP you realise some old dick in some big office chair paid some poor bum to praise his products. Too many p's in that last phrase.

And I mean, come on. There was an ad for a shirt for like, $450?!? What the HELL is wrong with you people. It just looked like a normal shirt...like...$20 from the Warehouse or something. Get your finger out of your massive collective arses, stop giving people a reason to charge so much (because you, the dumbshit gullible/metrosexual cunt actually buys this crap)

Seriously. What has some of the world come to. I hate "magazines" like that, almost as much as I hate that Nivea "face care" ad, "for men".

Firstly, caring about your face is a COMPLETELY SEPARATE ISSUE to whether you have a penis or not. It's true!

Secondly, the ad has one of the most annoying voices ever, but to make it worse it's an annoying voice, voicing annoyances. What do I mean?

From the ad: "You've got oily skin. So you can't get the girl. But with Nivea you can control it and you will suddenly be able to sex all these chicks and everything just because you bought our white sticky cream."

Okay, the first part was right. Anyway, this stupid ad makes all these shitty assumptions:

1. That "having oily skin" stops you from getting a girl. I'm sorry, but having a layer of oil on your skin is actually healthy? Touch old people. They're cold and dry. Guess what? No oil. Not that I don't like old people or think old people can't get chicks because when you're old, you've either already scored, or you were never meant to.
2. That you want to "get the girl". What the fuck? It's not some prize at a sideshow where you throw shit at coconuts to win something. And if your prize is a ditzy shithead who is only dating you because "your skin is not oily", then, well, good luck.
3. That you actually want to get girls in the first place. Fucking thinly-veiled sex-sell. (subrant: fucking palmolive/pantene ads with naked women. We get the point. you paid women to be naked. good for you.)

Anyway. I hate that ad, I hate M2 and the sorry ass excuse for a magazine it is, and most of all:

I hate the people who believe in that shit and dance around like fucks and cream up their face and go "oh no I want to use my special floral shower gel tonight" and then perm their hair and then go and get a manicure and squeal when they get their shoes in mud.

FUCK YOU

ok thanks. Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. I don't mind metros. I just hate stupid people.