Today, I mowed the lawn.

We have an electrical lawn-mower. Yes. Someone had the smart idea of attaching a live wire to a sharp rotating object.

Anyway.

[in the style of Dennis]

I was mowing the lawn and then I sliced the wire accidentally, but then some guy came along and said "Hey, do you want some cookies?" And then I said no and he got really angry so we then proceeded to duke it out with our fisticuffs, which lead to the dairy exploding. It was so exciting and there was this guy in the background making fighting noises like PSH and KAPOW and then there was this random guy holding this light and yelling things like "Cut" and I was like "dude, I already have, look at the wire" and HENRY GET THE FUCK BACK ON TOPIC

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So yeah. I was holding a wire. And could have been like. Electrical-man, new superhero or some shit. Can you imagine the origin story?!

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It was a cold Winter's afternoon, with the warming sun. What an ironic juxtaposition. Henry was dutifully mowing the lawn, without a care in the world...and then all of a sudden! A flash of light arced through his body, sending him into extreme convulsions! What was this?! It seems that he had accidentally sliced open the wire in his lawnmower! No longer human - half human, a quarter lawnmower, a quarter pure electrical energy, he screamed in pain to no avail...but he swore he would use his new-found powers to save the Alfalfan Gold Bears. For he was no longer Henry...he would be...

Flashmowerman!

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Anyway Yeah so that was the exciting thing. And then I walked into my room and turned the light on and the bulb blew. Sux.

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[in the style of Raymond]

hehehe ^^

...

-Yesterday I watched a Tale of Two Sisters...the younger one looked like a boy... Like her head was grafted from a kid or something...if you know what I mean. XP
-I often watch PurePwnage, My Window and My Monitor.
-I read the FFXI news.

*types some more*

Here are some lyrics:

Mary had a little lamb
little lamb
little lamb

Mary had a little lamb but then
she got hungry and ate it
But then she got skin cancer
So don't eat pets

I......I did this one important thing....once......but.....I won't....tell you.

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So yeah. I was mowing my lawn anyway and I noticed that we have at least four varieties of grass in our lawn.

We've got the ROOTER, which is like the dingy reserve grass, with the massive thick spreading underlying root things, and kind of looks like this:














Then there's the PERFECT, which is really fluffy and is like the sushi grass, actualised. Reminiscent of good designer gardens or something. Looks like:












Then, there's the CLOVER, which feels Irish and makes me an alcoholic. Not really. But yeah. Looks like:













Finally, the POKEMON, which is like, harbouring all these cute little monsters THAT WE MUST TOTALLY CAPTURE INTO OUR BALLS COME I WANT TO THROW MY BALLS AT YOU. CAPTURE. CAPTURE!












[in the style of David]

Grr. Here are some statistics:

Pastoral agriculture is practised throughout New Zealand and mainly comprises beef cattle, dairying, and sheep farming. However, deer farming is also an important livestock industry. Deer are farmed for venison and velvet. I like italics.

An ironic statement!

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Continuing with the garden analogy. Sonny is a PERFECT, cause that grass looks perfect and its all like perfect specimen, but then clogs up my lawnmower. YEAH. TAKE TAHT. IT"S AN INSULT.

Dennis is a CLOVER. Cause every night, he drinks. Oooh yeah, we've been watching, us with MANY EYES.

I would be the ROOTER. There's more to me deep down but it's really annoying, and oh yeah, I'm ugly and thrive in parts of the garden you'd rather not visit.

Raymond is the POKEMON. This is the honorary white person's grass turned Asian cause they released all the Marill in the wild, and also for some reason you can't seem to see in the Pokemon grass, cause you obviously didn't notice that freaking huge Mightyena in the tall grass, did you? No.

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Joe Hisaishi is a legend. Constriction from the FREEDOM album...omg. It's modern...intense...vibrant...and yet...not artsy and pretentious HOW'S YOU DO IT MRJAPAN plz tech me plz.

[in the style of William]

um.

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Anyway. Bread. Baguettes?

So long...so hard...so...crusty...so...soft.....so....so good is so good

*cue ironic music*

*asterisk insertions*

*self-reflexivity*

*hey, you've got something in your hair*

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Okay. I'm going back to Malaysia, so my house will be filled with Potatoes and flooding toilets.

[so you want me to comment but you never tag? Tske tske]

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See you all in another time(zone)!