G E B Bb 5:30 (finished main melodic material, touch up tomorrow)

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Classical music really is great. Waltz #2 from Jazz Suite by Shostakovich. Man. That's some great orchestration right there. Oh. Oh man. I want my pieces played. I want to hear them like that. Like that! Full blown performances, not Sibelius. I hate you Sibelius, you sound so bad. I want brassy brass, earthy strings and playful winds I want the rhythmic drive of real people, not electricity and circuits and zeros and ones and assembly code. I want my music to turn from black and white to human and from human to eternal. What good is a picture if nobody's around to see it? What good is my music if nobody ever plays it? What good is a melody from a speaker, not from the heart?

Until I actually get a piece of mine played in public, I'm really a failure as a composer.