Just returned from a nice New Year's Eve gathering at Raymond's house. ...I don't think I went to one last year...but - some things just don't ever change.

Great shout out to his parents for the great feed :)


YEAR IN REVIEW.

I don't think any of the years ever are really truly substantially different. Okay, so this year there was a war in Iraq or something (or was that last year?) Wars happen every year. Idiots get elected to parliament every year. Every year, people are born, people die, the world seems pretty eternal compared to people. Why shouldn't you feel inconsequential and lost and pretty useless?

You are alive. You can do stuff. Have you seen dead people? They are not particularly interesting. You have good friends. People come and go, some things don't change (Milk...is still $3.00 across the road.) Petrol prices sky-rocket. People get angry that de-facto couples and homosexuals get rights. People fight over shellfish and other assorted marine life. Someone turns 18. Bars get healthier. Stupid songs get radio play, case in point, Crazy Frog. Exams suck, you win some, you lose some.

You fight. You argue, you brawl, you trade hate and words and then slowly, awkwardly, repent and forgive. It takes a lot. But it happens. Rifts are created, divides are carved, wounds are healed, people you meet have motives : good, bad, neutral. The more you break, the greater you bond. Work. You work, for money. You don't get paid nearly enough, or you get paid a lot for something easy. Your boss is a bastard, or he just seems that way. Who knows?

The bus ride is STILL over an hour long. Ticket prices rise. So does the minimum wage. Your brother becomes a bartender. Your other one is getting better. You play online games. It occupies you. But sometimes...you just want the real world.

The real world. It sits out there, moving the leaves on the trees, growing the lawn - you mow it occasionally now.

You learn. You learn a lot of things, programming languages, matrices, how to trick people into thinking you are good at Paper, Scissors, Rock - you learn who you can trust and who you can't, who you can depend on and who won't back down. You learn what to say, and sometimes when to not speak. You learn a rough bus timetable off by heart. You figure out the quad is really a square. You still haven't been into the General Library except for the basement.

University. You walk past people and never say hi. Everyone runs around to do their own thing.

Do you feel lost?

Sometimes. But, you meet new people. Whether you actually do anything, you realise, is up to you. Saying hi, is still pretty awkward.

You start to drive, even though on the inside it seems like you are clashing with your lifelong ambition to ride a two-wheeled mechanical device. You learn how to turn. You know how the accelerator works now (it's pretty fickle).

You buy a mobile. It's pretty cool, and pricey. Your iPod has been collecting dust. Music. You love it, still. Taste comes and goes, melodies are eternal.

Movies. You pay, and sometimes, you don't. Futuristic cyber robots, plays based on the plight of children who are too mature - people who like to abuse love for sex, one that involves a rude guy at a restaurant. You forget to watch the one with the guy in the black cape who likes nocturnal flying things.

Apparently, people can pick your ideology without truly ever sitting down and talking to you.

Dreams? There was this one that involved a toaster...

Hopes?

Fears? I am still not really a fan of worms.

Idiots still drive cars. You were involved in some guy's attempt to scare you. Bravely, you didn't flinch. Your hate level for everybody and everything rises. You talk. It lowers.

You realise this all sounds really stupid.

You stop, you go to sleep, and when you wake up:

It's the next year.

Have a good one.