TODAY'S PET HATE:

Hypocritical/stupid/annoying people.

Let's start with hypocritical.

First off - today was the school cross country (the last one I'll ever do! yay! I would in all honesty never run 6 kms for fun. What kind of person makes it their hobby? -_-) and I really suck at running being flatfooted and unfit and short and all. Well, I'm walking as fast as my wasted feet will let me and every fucking teacher I pass says something along the same lines - "RUN FASTER YOU AREN'T TRYING BLAR BLAR BLAR". It's not like I like being last or anything (not that I actually care) but I was trying. My feet still hurt while I'm typing this, I had to hobble home. And most of the teachers who said that were just standing around and haven't run 3 kms straight yet. I mean, for the teachers who did run good on them (and they didn't put us down anyway) and their encouragement was a lot better than rubbish like "YOU'RE NOT TRYING YOU SLACKERS".

Hypocriticalism and annoyance - stupid teachers that aren't even trying to run. Lazy fucks.

Stupid: Alright. On the way home with my hurt feet and all, I got to the school crossing and some scunge old bitch teacher came up to me and went "OI YOU'RE NOT GOING HOME UNLESS YOU'RE WEARING SHOES!". I should have questioned that statement but I was too tired to really care, so I just went back and sat around with Rikky for a bit. Then someone suggested that I just put my shoes on, walk past her, then take them off.

So I did.

I mean, I don't understand. My feet already hurt. I don't want to shove them into shoes you stupid old lady. I'm not degrading the school image or anything. I'm wearing the right uniform - I was in full P.E. gear, which doesn't have SCHOOL RUNNING SHOES LAST TIME I FREAKING CHECKED. In fact, I'm going to look at the school uniform webpage thing to see if somehow mistakenly everybody didn't know there were school running shoes. (According to Mr. Venter there were school running socks as well...at the start of the race he said anyone who wasn't wearing school socks - which really was everybody - would not be allowed to run. We ran anyway, the teachers enjoy watching pain.)

The school policy on P.E. uniform:

" Physical Education Uniform
All students are to wear the new royal blue shorts and polo shirts in house colours. After enrolment and placement in a house, Year 9 students and new students can purchase polo shirts in house colours. "

No mention of shoes.

Even in the photo provided (link - http://www.macleans.school.nz/school_life/images/pe_uni.jpg), none of them are wearing shoes. Except for the guy in the tracksuit but common sense dictates that shoes would (if so) only be compulsory for people wearing tracksuits. And I was just in normal non-loser P.E. gear.

So even if that dumb old lady's concern was me not wearing uniform correctly, she was being extremely stupid. If she was trying to protect my feet, it wasn't any of her business and really, my feet don't like my shoes at the moment.

Stupid - stupid teachers ask stupid things of you. Dumb fucks.

There's a huge religious conversation/discussion right behind me. Bah it's confusing. More on that later.

Anyway, I woke up extra extra early this morning (6:30! ITS CRAZY) for no reason. I was supposed to help carry stuff for Dala in the Intercultural Club (which, may I add, I am not in.) but...there was nothing for me to carry. And then I went to do a soundcheck for the backing music for my idol performance which took me all of 5 minutes. When I did that, it was 7.30. I waited at school for an hour, doing nothing.

Blah.

I was a guest judge for Batten Idol today, it's weird sitting up the front. But I got to kinda rip into people. I could have been a lot meaner but when you think about it, this isn't just some fake construct on TV - these are real people. As fun as it would have been to say they were utter crap (which they were pretty much, except John), I didn't. Save their face. I was going to be singing today but I didn't because:

1. I'd be against John.
2. I didn't have my costume.
3. I was guest judge.
4. Matt forgot I was doing it this week.

I didn't really do much at school today to be honest. First two periods I did work and then I kinda just sat around. It was real cold too - it hailed right outside the physics classroom while we were in it and the Intercultural Club people were setting up in the amphitheatre- so they got wet. =P (and I was supposed to be helping them then ^_^)

Yeah. Anyway, my mum and my brother are busy conversing about their separate religions...while the other brother happily isn't home even though my mum painstakingly cooked dinner for him and the bastard never tells anyone when he isn't coming home.

Hmm yeah...I haven't blogged for a while. Oh well, I'm sure nobody's missing my inner thoughts.

You know what's a good song? D12 and Eminem - My Band. Fantastique song.

Also, my mum came back this morning, even though my dad said she was coming next week. Strange. -_- But she brought with her lots of revision books! I'm serious now. I have a test tomorrow. I have a test tomorrow. Physics. Must. Study.

Yea.

Walking home to school I got quite irate at stupid people on the footpath. Things you should never do on a footpath are:

1. Suddenly stop and bend over. (I don't like your ass in my face. This especially applies if you're on stairs.)
2. Walk five abreast. Other people would like to walk on the footpath too, you know - there IS an opposite way whether you accept it or not.
3. Cut across other people from one side to the other. What the fuck?

Yeah. Just my little rant for today. Also Ming! Save your brain cells! What have you done? -_-

Also, I forgot to mention Dramatic Fall #4 is never as good as Dramatic Fall #1.

I watched The Passion of the Christ yesterday. You can learn a lot of things from the movie!

1) Don't watch a movie with a room of hyperventilating Asians unless you really have to. I mean what with the brutal on-screen punishment, having a row of people behind you going "OOOOOH AAAAAAHAHA OOHAHOAHOAHAH TSSSKSK OOOH" is just slightly annoying.

2) 90% of Roman soldiers are bastards.

3) 90% of Roman soldiers are stupid and blind.

4) The high priest is a dick.

Yeah. Apart from the aftermovie sermon which I wasn't informed about and promptly didn't listen to it because I wasn't very interested and it was in Cantonese, it was a nice free movie. A very depressing, thought provoking free movie. Poor Jesus.

I GOT THE COKE ANTHEMS!

"fresh from the fridge, fresh from the fridge"...

yeah, sorry - I've been lookin for that song for ages. And lo and behold I stole it from the Coke Website.

I'm very sleepy but it has come to my attention something that really really pisses me off.

So, my pet hate for today:

UNEXPECTED/UNWANTED TOUCHING/CONTACT

My oldest brother (Richard) has a very annoying tendancy of poking me in the shoulder. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO GET MY ATTENTION, ONES THAT DON'T PISS ME OFF SO MUCH. I hate being poked. I don't know why, I don't really care why, JUST DON'T DO IT. If I enjoyed you poking me in the shoulder over just going "hey", I would have told you. DON'T FUCKING POKE ME. DON'T DO IT. If I'm not expecting you to touch me, DON'T DO IT. If I don't want to be poked, DON'T POKE ME.

I hope you get the point. Don't ever poke me, ever again, or I shall be very angry. Sleep time.

Oh damn I am tired.

And I have to wake up early tomorrow as well....stupid me learning to play a musical instrument and all. I wonder why I did, really....

(On an unrelated note, TV is addictive, and could take over the world.)

This is something which I think should have been done quite a long time ago. Read the email I sent to Oxford University Press to understand.

Dear Oxford University Press:

I am a Year 13 NZ Student from Macleans College currently studying A Level Physics, and my school has adopted the use of your "AS and A Level Physics through Diagrams" textbook which I have found very useful and informative, with easy to understand language and informative explanatory diagrams. However, me and all the other students using the textbook have one major query about the textbook, which is "Why does it smell like fish"? Our Physics teacher upon being questioned replied that our school paid extra for the fish smell option, which we find rather strange. Do your textbooks offer a different range of smells in different price ranges? Is it the binder's glue that is the cause of the smell that is distinctly fishy? Or is it perhaps the ink on the paper, or the paper itself? Regardless, every time after a period of Physics in school I get a minor headache from the odour of the textbook, and leaving in my bag causes my entire bag to smell reminiscent of a fish-market.

If this is a printing error, can you please resolve it so that other future students, teachers and users of the textbook will not be subject to the smell of decaying animal matter whenever they need to look up the theory behind circular motion? I am sure they will all be grateful to own a copy of your great textbook which does not smell like fish.



Regards,

Henry Chong

Yes, word up to my Physics Class. \o/

Hmm. I'm going to try an experiment just to see how useful my oldest brother is. Let me see if I can go for a week pretending he doesn't exist.

Ants are stupid.

I just saw about 500 in the sink swarming around my dinner plates.

I killed them all. I know, they weren't hurting me at all but they piss me off. Big seething black moving mass of little things - what a paradox. At least they didn't die thirsty.

NOW LISTENING TO: Dave Brubeck - Benjamin Christopher David Brubeck

Damn jazz rocks. Anyway, today as I was walking home from school I was stuck behind a smoker. Which brings me to by gripe for today:

I HATE SMOKERS (as a general rule)

I mean, I wouldn't mind if they killed themselves quietly, I support free rights to do stuff, but when someone in front of you starts smoking and you can't really get away from the smoke they are slowly killing you and I hate that. It's like suicide - kill yourself, but don't kill me. Smoking should be banned in public and reserved to rooms of smokers, where they all just breathe in this huge smouldering cigarette situated in the corner of one such establishment and through the containment of the smoke they will not kill everyone else in sight.

I hate most smokers that I don't know, really. I suppose the ones I do know are alright generally, because they are considerate in that they don't smoke in my face. That's one way to piss me off.

/end rant

I thought about the "graffiti" incident today during my study period.

If graffiti is writing scribbled onto a surface, since my handwriting is quite horrible, whenever I take notes in class or write anything in school I'm graffiti-ing all over the place and that's against the school rules! Therefore, all my school books should be subjected to a ritual of burning and sacrifice for going against the school rules. Doing homework, schoolwork or any kind of writing in school is WRONG!

So says the rules of the school. Everyone in my school should be pointed out the fact that writing is now not permissible in school.

(Or is my logic just horrendously flawed?)

First, the not bad things about today.

Macleans Idol

Yeah, our school is going to hold its own idol competition. And I'm in it. I still can't decide what song to sing, if you have any suggestions or ideas feel free to tell me. There are plenty of ways to reach me.

(On a related(?) note, me and a few others caught our house leader singing that song that goes "Ain't no mountain high enough" - the name escapes me but it was quite funny. And also, she read my essay and didn't get angry! Yay! ^_^)

Now, the not so good thing. Ie the Problem of the Day (tm).

Anyone who knows me for about a day knows how unorganized I am. Recently as a way to combat this state of confusion and "help me, I don't know what class I have next!", I've written things on my left arm since if I wrote reminders to myself on pieces of paper, I'd lose the pieces of paper anyway. I like to call my left arm my personal walking notepad - I don't even have to reach into my pocket, all I have to do is look at my left arm.

Well today, Miss Hall (music teacher, I think she used to live in South Auckland which could be a reason why she has mean streaks on certain days) came up to me and the conversation went something like this:

MH - "What's that on your arm?!"
me - "Oh, it's my walking notepad. I used to write notes on pieces of paper but I'd lose those pieces of paper."
MH - "Get rid of it."
me - "...are you serious?"
MH - "YES. You know that school rule about graffiti? That includes drawing on your hand. Go and wash it off now."
me - "...okay."

I then proceeded to go to the nearest toilet (in this case the Art Block toilets, which are the cleanest in the school anyway) and washed it all off, using in the process about half the soap in that tank of liquid soap and a whole lot of water since vivid doesn't come off easily. So, the effects of this punishment:

- 5 minutes of not having music
- Approximately 7 people's worth of soap wasted
- Me having to copy out all my notes all over again
- The psychological scar I will have for the rest of my life
- Some kid in Afghanistan died

I knew better than to argue with her when she's on a mean streak. I mean, it actually wasn't that hard to wash it off (it just took a lot of soap, thats all). But now in the safety and comfort of my own home I'm going to see just where she gets off at controlling what I write on myself. I mean, it's my body and all right? First, she said there were "drawings on my hand". Are drawings comparable to notes? Let's look at a dictionary definition.

drawing n. 1 art of representing by line with a pencil etc. 2 picture etc. made thus.

I agree that I did make an image using a vivid. But are notes to myself considered art?

art n. 1 a human creative skill or its application. b work showing this.

Creative? Hmm. I don't think I was spurred by some flash of artistic inspiration to write things like "do the washing" on my arm. (Though some strange person probably WOULD call it art)

creative adj. 1 inventive, imaginative

Definitely not inventive. Definitely not imaginative. THEREFORE the writing on my arm was not creative, not allowing it to be art and therefore not a drawing! Ahah! But what about graffiti? Is that restricted to just drawing? Hmm.

graffiti n.pl. (sing. graffito) writing or drawing scribble, scratched, or sprayed on a surface.

It's not drawing but it most definitely is writing. Guilty on that account. So I did "graffiti" on my hand. The school policy on graffiti is, uh...let me look through my homework diary to find some points I think look relevant.

Keep your diary, including the cover neat and tidy. No graffiti.
(Last time I checked, my arm was not a diary.)

the definition of acceptable behaviour is clearly understood and where students show consideration for others.
(I was considerate! I didn't wave my arm in people's faces! I didn't yell out "LOOK AT MY ARM, YOU FUCKERS!")

That's all I saw that looked relevant. No rule concerning me writing on my own arm. But wait! What's this clause here that looks important?

Students are under the school's authority from the time they leave home until they return home.

So by going to school I signed away pretty much all my rights (there goes your speech on human rights, Miss Warner!) and allowing the school to decide what's good for me and what isn't. And a part of the school doesn't think I should be writing on my hand and therefore justfully punished me for it. Wow! I can get punished for writing on myself. I bet that's a bizzare thing to happen in schools. Or is it? You know, schools kind of remind me of a prison. A few things they have in common:

- A uniform.
- A drug counselor.
- A counselor, in general.
- Regulated activites.
- The authority has full control over you.

At least in prisons they feed you.

So by going to school, I basically let someone yell at me for writing on my arm, go figure. I'll probably do it again just to see if I can get an essay from it. This is intefering with human rights! THIS IS A HUGE OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE AND ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE AND SO FORTH! I have a dream - that white people and black people and even Asian people can write on their own arms and not be faced with punishment and discrimination (har har you arm writer you). But then again, what can I do? I'm an anomily in the "well run" system. I am a bug. The Macleans Matrix says I must be made to cease and desist in a way much like America. I'm just a student being oppressed.

Oh well. That's life for you. Dinner time.

Okay, I'm pretty freaked out by that container of urine in my house.

Yes, I said container of urine.

Now why would there be a container of re-used saliva and regurgitated liquids within my home? Well, Richard is a med school student. And, for the next 24 hours, he has to take a leak into that bottle sitting on his desk. It's really freaky, it is, the urine's kinda gone orange and kinda looks like beer gone wrong, what with the froth and all. At least it doesn't smell - or not yet at least. Crazy Med School students, them.

According to OKCupid, some shootoff from TheSpark, I am:

The Boy Next Door

Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet. We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.


Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand (Deliberate Brutal Sex Master)

On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold. More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach

---

Yeah. Thought someone might be interested.

My personality according to Dr. John Edwards is:

ENFP - Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceptor

Warmly enthusiastic, high-spirited, ingenious, imaginative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Quick with a solution for any difficulty and ready to help anyone with a problem. Often rely on their ability to improvise instead of preparing in advance. Can usually find compelling reasons for whatever they want.

--

Anyway, today I woke up and William told me Richard wasn't home (older brothers, Richard being the eldest). Then he came home, after finding me a very nice CD (thanks Rich) and went to sleep at approximately noon in bed with his girlfriend. -_- I'm amazed they both fit on one bed, considering its a single bed. How dodgy/potentially illegal. I had Wendy's for dinner. Academy of Strings practice today too, it was great having not played the cello in a week, it was nice. Mm.

Fucking hell. Some stupid Girl Guides girls just ran up to my house and asked me if I wanted Girl Guides biscuits. I would have said yes if they weren't dressed like sluts. What is wrong with teh youngin's?! They proceeded then to fuck around with the awesome weather machine which Thomas gave me the little shits and run all over my caving stuff which I had set out to dry. Grr.

And as for the party thing, I have an excuse. If I tell it to myself often enough I'll also believe it. I'll just say I fell asleep and my brother was online. >.> But if any of you read this I really wanted to go, the real reason I can't is because my brother isn't home and I'm lazy to call people and I suck cause I can't find DVDs etc.

Yeah. I just wanted to complain about annoying Girl Guides who don't seem to understand "No I don't have money on me" as a cue to FUCK OFF BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOUR BISCUITS.

Sorry about the language. I've been swearing a lot lately. I've just noticed it at camp...-_- But I probably have been for a year. Oh well.

BACK FROM CAMP!

Oh my god. Best five days of this year, definitely. Definitely definitely the best five days of this year. And again! BEST FIVE DAYS OF THIS YEAR.

I suppose it really helped that I wasn't going there with high expectations. All the time when people keep bitching about how little food there is I'm enjoying it. All the time when people are complaining (ahem, Brandon) about shit that's happening, I cruised through it. And, Camp was fun. I did so much shit and it was all wicked. In no particular order, let's start with some random thoughts.

- There was a playground! Imagine 17-18 year olds (with the exception of me) on a playground, and the hilarity that ensues.

- There was a dairy about a ten minute walk from the campsite! I must have been there about three times in the five days and spent like, $10. (Which reminds me, Brandon owes me $20.)

- I walked around barefoot 94% of the time. The only time I had shoes on was Tramping, Mountain Biking (which wasn't really that, but more on that later) and Caving.

- The food...not too shabby considering they have to cater for like 300 people. No mean feat I can assure you. The hot chocolate was pretty much sugar water with food colouring, but the macaroni and cheese dinner one night was very nice.

- I met so many people it wasn't funny. (Well, in a strange way it was, but in a cool not funny way. I digress.)

Well, what did I do in five days? I'll just copy off the sheet.

Abseiling

This wasn't a highlight for me. More like a midly enjoyable filler activity. I don't know about you, but controlled falling just doesn't really do it for me. It was pretty freaky to start with when you look down and you're like SHIT but then when you actually start falling at the speed of a walking fat American, it's like meh.

Rock Climbing

This was alright. I show my general ineptitude at all things physical by ruining the harness for one of the rock climbing stations, thus preventing everyone behind me from climbing that rock face. ALRIGHT! I did climb the easiest rockface. At least I tried my best. And I can say that I ruined the harness because I tried so hard. Yup. -_-

Caving

What a huge contrast to what I thought it would be. I expected that I'd just go for a walk through a dark hole. And hell yeah, caving is walking through a dark hole. Only fun! Who knew that getting your clothes ruined and smelling like crap was so much fun? Sliding around, squeezing through impossibly narrow corridors and all those stalactite things. And that water, oooh nice cold water. Best activity I did on camp. Kamal agrees with me, therefore we are correct and all those losers who enjoyed sitting around doing jackshit like those Korean girls in our group are wrong.

Archery

Despite me not having done this in like a year, I fluked getting a yellow on my first arrow. ^_^ Andrew Wallace fully had the mean aim, all he'd do was raise the bow, let go, and it'd find its way to where he wanted it to go. No aiming, no mess, just fucking load and fire. I didn't really do very well but I was the only person to pop the balloon attached to the targets which were waving in the wind and whatnot.

Water-based Activity

Better than I thought. I managed to stay very very clean compared to everyone else, the stupid bastards, heh heh. Basically, we all build rafts and played a game down a river. The only gay thing was that on my raft were two useless girls, Kate (I don't know her last name) and Sarah Fels. Kate kept yelling at me and Andrew to paddle while just leaving her paddle in the water, making us turn and forcing me to compensate for her cockup, and Sarah Fels didn't seem to understand the concept of turning on a raft.

Speaking of Sarah Fels I've just noticed (I can't believe it slipped by me) that she has a huge ego. Backtrack to Archery for a bit. She boasts she's going to beat everyone because she's done archery for three years and she rules at it and blah blah huge fucking pile of shit. For half the time, all she did was shoot her arrow over the target. I wonder what she did for three years, learn to use her fingers? And then there was the tramp, where "she totally ruled" and held everyone back. And there was pistol shooting where she held her gun at the barrel, increasing the chance of her shooting her fingers off (not sure if that's a good or bad thing) and got a few fluke shots and said she ruled and shit. She took like 5 minutes to shoot once, and held us all back. Then she missed the target after about five shots. And Kurt beat her score by miles.

Enough about Sarah Fels.

Pistol Shooting

Damn I suck at this. I don't have a particularly steady hand so you can imagine what happens. I did hit the target once though, which I'm quite, uh, proud of. (Hey, at least I hit the damn thing!) Kurt ruled though. He shot lying down on the floor, gangsta style, it didn't matter, whatever he did, he hit the target.

Screen Printing

I put "Congrats, you now have sars" on my T-shirt. Hilarity ensued.

Tramping

Hooray a walk in the bush. That's what I thought. But it was fully wicked! Sure, climbing up like a 70 degree slope which is muddy and smells like arse isn't too good, but going downhill kicked arse. I can't believe I went so far either, amazing. I fully thought I'd collapse about halfway through, but I made it and I was fine after. Strange. (I do, however, have a mean sore thigh from that stupid uphill shit.) The fish and chips we bought from the takeaway were legend too. Mmm. (Speaking of the shop, they fully made a crapload of business when we were down in Ngaruawahia - and the chicken burger I bought from them was hell nice.)

Mountain Biking

Not exactly mountains. Just a ride around the campsite. It was alright even though the name was misleading, I hadn't been on a bike since last year's triathlon so it was kinda nice.

Dr. Edwards Workshops

Mixed feelings on this one. At times he was droning on and on, but he makes really good points, even though my book I doodled in says otherwise. They didn't really have to be that long though, he could have been more precise and to the point rather than waffly. I suppose he's getting paid shitloads so he doesn't care.

--Other things that I can say--

Accomodation was, strange. There was a disturbing white stain on my mattress in the cabin me and seven others (Byron, Ryan (the saf one), Kamal, Kurt, Heusen, Kev, Yu-nan and Christian) were in. The ladders to the top bunks (I was on one) were designed for five year olds, or midgets. One of the two. The food was alright as I said before, there's always something I didn't really like and something I liked.

The showers sucked. I fully tried not to take a shower but I couldn't stand it after caving. There was fully no pressure, the hot water was fickle...but I suppose at least there was a shower.

--Entertainment at night--

First night's entertainment was Fear Factor, where people tried to get skittles out of a tub of baked beans with their head (and the tub wasn't changed, ever - so the later people had to deal with recycled spit too), drinking lots and lots of milk, throwing around a spicy sheep's heart (yes, sheep).

Then after, there was the man-o-man. High/low points were:

Shern. Doesn't seem to be able to keep his shirt on (much like everyone else in the competition)
Sam Forde. A bunny suit, then red undies and a leopard skin top? Uh...
Rikky. With a T-shirt that says "testosterone man", he really should have won.
Fraser. Best pickup line ever - "If I throw a coin what are the chances of me getting head?"
Chris White and Steve Arnold. Imagine wrestling in a jockstrap and tighty whities between the two, who were covered in baby oil. Yes, nudity ensued. Yes, Steve Arnold lost his underwear.

Second night was some lame attempt at a singalong. As nice as the idea was, it doesn't really work if only the ten people around the guitar can hear the guitar. I don't think we even finished a song. Saving grace was John Boden's mint solo performance though. Nice.

Third night, hot pools! Oh yeah they were good. Oh very much so. Despite rumours that someone took a dump in the pool and Teyla had her period in the pool, it was still good. There was this strange smell, but I hope it was just the sulphur.

And last night, the concert. Skits from houses, and the teacher skit. Oh man, the teacher skit was funny. Miss Rowbotham trying very very hard to keep a straight face. Ms Warner being Judge Hardass. Rule 69 about Sexual Harrassment! Arunum trying to copy Rikky's eclipse gum ad rendition, fully bombed it did. What a loser. I think he changed his name to Daryl for some stupid reason as well. The skit which involved KFC, a black guy, and a Steve Irwin impersonation.

---

The view was good. The camp environment was nice, there were fully sheeps and cows and horses there. There was even a horse that looked like a cow. Crazy. The camp was great because of the people, no less. All those new people I met, good mates, random hilarity, it was shitloads better than school. Huge props to the school eh.

Yeah. It was wicked, wicked. I'm probably going to forget by next year, but at least I'll have this blog, maybe.

Also, Kevin didn't believe I was my brother's, uh, brother. That's all. (And Philip Wong is a tosser). Oh yeah, and Brandon doesn't stop complaining. ^_^

---

I'm tired. Supposely there could be a get-together. I'm angry, I can't find my Monty Python DVDs. I don't have any mode of transport anyway. Once I blog, I'm going to call him and tell him I can't find it. Yes. Well, that's it. I don't really remember anything else about camp. (Oh yes, Tineke got really shitty at me. Must be because I keep pissing her off. >.>)

Things I purchased today:

- Rachmaninov Piano Collection Volume 1 (A shitload of his preludes and etudes.)
- Dave Brubeck - Take Five album (very nice)
- Kings of Swing (some random music, only bought it for Duke Ellington's The A Train, really....recording isnt too great but hey)

Each CD cost me like...$3. I love cheap quality music.

Also, I got the poplypropylene stuff - we went around to three different warehouses, the first two were out of stock on long sleeved ones (which is the requirement...) I think the reason they're out is because everyone else is 200% more organised than I am. We finally got it (there was a crapload here) at the Warehouse in Panmure. $17.99 for a longsleeved navy blue polyprop top. Not too bad, I suppose.

Now my Angry Mum (tm) wants me to pack stuff. Blarg.

Hmm, I am going to go to Botany Town centre tomorrow to go look for some polypropylene shirts (or whatever its called) for 7th Form Camp next week. They'd best be cheap and readily available or I'll be in shit...I thought my brother had some but turns out he doesn't. Bastards.

Anyway, two songs that recently picked my fancy:

Incubus - Megalomaniac (This has a FANTASTIC video...could be studied for English, really. Great art style too.)
Simple Plan - Perfect.

Oh yeah, our band has a name now. I think. "Fistful of Fives". Well that's what I think it is. I'm past caring. That's about it.

Oh! I remember what happened today now. I was late to school. The story can be summed up in the punishment essay I wrote.

Victims of Circumstance

Yes, this is a late essay. Yes, I typed it because I believed it would be faster so that I could get this punishment out of the way and then get onto doing things I want to do or other things that I have to do (such as homework, since I’m a hard out A Level student). And yes, I had no good excuse for being late. Since I’m typing this out and I have an approximate typing speed of 90 words per minute I’m going to guess this will take me no more than 8 minutes to complete. But just to be fair on you teachers who want me to actually do some tedious pointless essay, I won’t use paragraphs so you get more bang for your punishment, so to speak. Anyway, the typed font will be much more legible to whoever is reading this as my normal handwriting can be quite poor, which any of my friends can tell you. Anyway, where was I. Yes. Victims of Circumstance. (Mrs. Figgins if you’re reading this, hi! Please don’t be angry, I’m not trying to be cheeky. If you really, really really want a handwritten essay just tell me and I’ll write all of this out by hand.) Victims of Circumstance. Well, I was thinking about this when I went to school today and knowing I was late I didn’t bother running (I actually left my house at 8:25 so there was no way I’d ever get to school on time), but while walking I saw this busload of students who were now officially late go past me. When we reached the teacher on duty, who was doing his duty taking down names for lateness, the bus had unloaded students. Even though it wasn’t the student’s fault that the bus was late, the teacher on duty still gave them all essays, claiming they should walk to school if their bus becomes late. Now, there’s a bad argumentative point, I thought silently in my head, but who wants to argue with a teacher? All you’ll get is two pages which is double the annoyance, really. But back to the point – his claim was that everyone should be in walking distance to the school and we should all walk to school. And if not, go to another school. Well for some it just isn’t technically possible. I know, out of zones students have to handle their own means of transport and get to school on time. I know, it’s their problem. But I think in the case I encountered the day I silently accepted my essay and walked off to form-time, the people on the bus were victims of circumstance. Think about it, nobody wants to get an essay – nobody in their right mind, anyway. (I certainly didn’t arrive at school late for the overwhelming joy of writing (or in my case, typing) a one-page essay.) Those students were just caught in a situation they had no control over. Let me go over my evidence. Firstly, like I mentioned, nobody wants to be late to school. Secondly, none of the students on board the bus had magical time powers, so when the bus was late, it was late. They could do nothing. And if they chose NOT to take the bus, they’d be even later. So why burn them for making the right choice spontaneously? I know if I was a teacher I’d rather my students arrive a little late on a bus than get stressed out running to school and getting the same punishment anyway. So pretty much my point is, you gotta have some flexibility. Not everyone wants to be late. It was a perfect, legitimate reason why they were late, because their mode of transport was late. (Most people who walk are just lucky their legs are obedient 99% of their lives and don’t charge any money). It’s not like any of the students deliberately told the bus driver something along the lines of “hey sir, slow down, I want to be late to school so I can get punished with an essay!” I...don’t think so. Yeah. That was pretty much what I wanted to say. I know (and so does Mrs. Figgins) that some people actually read essays...well she does, anyway. (Hi again, how’s things up top, Mrs Figgins?) Is this the case in the top office? Do you guys hire someone to go through piles of late and automatic essays, or do you just shove them through a shredder? I hope someone reads this so they understand the point I was trying to put across. If I was kind and generous I would write the essays for everyone on that fated bus ride. But unfortunately, I am not kind and generous. If you office ladies read this, hi! Thanks for doing a great job. If you office ladies run this through the shredder, no hard feelings. You’re probably just doing what you were told to do. Anyway, I think this is enough. I have homework to do now. Perhaps some other time, when I get another essay, I can discuss something else that rags me. Until then.

Yup. That's what happened today.

Well, nothing happened today. Oh wait, there was something...a band practice, yes.

I'm hallucinating things. I thought someone was tapping at the window but when I turned to look they disappeared. Then I saw a black horserider, but it was only a leaf.

I blame porn, that or all the little children in Afghanistan.

There's this really annoying shithole which is on the footpath which spews up gunk and rotten organics and other strange and smelly items, on the way walking to school. It's been there since the start of the year and nobody's bothered to fix it. It quite frankly pisses me off.

Of course, that has nothing to do with anything. All it means is that I have to jump over it every time I walk to school. Whic his a pain. But that's about it.

Anyway, where was I....um....uh.....

Hmm. Oh yeah, my first ever fan (of my music) asked for permission to play one of my parodies on his school radio. Naturally I said yes (who doesn't want to be on radio?). Yeah. Interesting point for the day.

I can't think of anything else to say really, other than the school orchestra this year is really bad. We struggled through old music and the new music sounds like the rear end of a hippo. Especially Lord of the Rings. It has so much potential, it's just that we're not playing it very well. (We doesn't include the cello section, we're always right. Always.)

Yup.

That's it.

Ok, tagboard and commenting on posts should be up now. Cher.

See, unlike other Blogs and internet little diary little record of thingsy things, I don't have to apologize for not updating because nobody reads this shit anyway.

Well, at least I hope not. I don't think anyone does. But in the rare eventuality there is one greasecovered nerd eating a sandwich through his pimply face reading the wondrous exploits of, well, me, I'm going to look into setting up one of those fancy flash-as comment/shoutout boards, which will probably end up with insightful remarks like "cool" and "okay" and "suck".

Anyway. What happened today, let's see..

I suspect one of my friends has brain damage.

You see, it's funny that the worst drugs aren't the illegal ones but the legal ones. Think of alcohol. Think of how many people do very very stupid (funny, but very very stupid) things while totally tanked. Think of how many people lose their livers. Think of how many who need to spend another $25 for a new pair of jeans. You get the point. But...what if it wasn't just something material (like a liver)? What if something much more crucial was impaired and stabbed and left bleeding to die?

This said friend of mine has the following symptoms which I, even though it's my brother who's in med school not me, think are very fine symptoms of fucking your brain up.

1. The attention span of a doorknob. In other words, ask him a question, he'll look like he's thinking of an answer, but then comment on something completely different. For example when I saw him when the bell went for hometime today:

Me: "Good luck for tennis."

(pause)

Him: "Man, my hole has a pencil case."

2. The intelligence of a baby. Only a baby would willingly screw up their pencil case (or a retard, but the IQs are roughly the same). I watched him mutilate his pencil case today in Physics, completely ignoring the fact that we actually had an obligation to work as hardout smart A level students which actually didn't feel like failing like last year. Instead of doing much needed practice on circular motion and simple harmonic motion, he chose to destroy his perfectly functional pencil case, nylon layer by nylon layer. At the end of the period when he had destroyed the four outer layers of it and made a huge hole in the only remaining layer, I nicely pointed out to him he had just destroyed his pencil case. He looked a bit shocked after I told him that.

3. The retard smile. You know those people who you know are tripping out? They like...stare kinda a bit past you, and keep smiling like they're being given head by some invisible assailant? Yeah. That was him today. For example (in the same physics class)

Me: "Hey, is it period versus the square root of l?"

(pause)

Him: "What?" (With a big cheesy grin)

He then proceeded to twink a penis onto my hand by means of impression. The lil' bastard.

I think he's successfully scared me off alcohol now. I would almost vow to never get drunk, but where's the fun in that...I swear, a funnel and 10 beers every weekend can't be good for any 17 year old. I suppose I should be happy he isn't smoking and he's keeping the liver damage to himself like a good boy. (At least he's dying happily)

If you are reading this O dear brain-damaged friend (which I don't know how you would be, seeing that I never give out this address...which could also be why nobody ever reads this) - HELLO! Yeah, that was the end of that anecdote.

I have physics homework to do. Which really should have been done yesterday but I digress.

Yesterday's Earnings: $47

Today's Earnings: $30

Total Earning: $207

Number of Red Packets: 24

Average Amount per Red Packet: $8.625

Average Number of Red Packets per day: 6

Average Amount earned per day: $51.75

Average amount earned per hour: $2.15625

Number of illegal pirated CDs that could be bought with total earned amount: 40+

OMG I LEAVE tOmorow morning packs packs packs!

Today's Earnings: $60
Random people we visited: about 6
People I actually knew well: 2

Yup. That's it.

EPISODE TWENTY FIVE: HAEPY AZNCHYNIZ NIW YURR

Last night, there was a shitload of fireworks commemorating the Chinese New Year here...basically from 11.30-12.10 the air was filled with the smell and smoke of gunpowder and random flashes of light were seen in the horizon and fireworks closer by, sounding like a freaking battlefield - in other words, very loud (BANG BANG BANG). Man, some of the ones set off were really heavy duty (just as good as the government funded stuff in New Zealand). I wonder where all these fireworks came from since nobody sells them and fireworks are illegal. There was quite a lot...for something illegal. >.< There would probably have been more past 12.10 if it didn't start raining.

Today I went visiting peoples since it's Chinese New Year. I got like...lots of Red Packets with moneys inside them all! I got about $70 today. We visited, from the people I can remember:

My dad's mum's house.
My dad's sister's house.
My dad's other sister's house (my dad has 9 siblings o_O)
My dad's old classmate's house (also the first patient in my dad's clinic)
My sister's good friend
My sister's new Chinese teacher
Aunty Ong
Some random house with some woman from Guangdong, who gave me a Red Packet with a $5 note from Mainland China.

I think there were other people but I don't remember. Too many people. Garr. It was fun though, I went around in my new clothes and new shoes...mmm...new...and free food. I feel kinda skank actually getting all this stuff for free, but I suppose...

I wrote down notes for the photos I took in Taiwan just then, I have to write notes for all the memoirs and souveniers from Taiwan too, but I'll probably do that when I go back to New Zealand. The holidays, I feel them coming to a close! Another year ahead then.

---

Hmm. One of my mum's friends who owns a game store (which we always get our games from) just came over - our first visitor. Which of course meant more eating. Chinese New Year has got to be a dieter's worst nightmare ^_^"

This song rocks: it's the theme song for Malaysian National Service.

http://www.khidmatnegara.gov.my/theme_song/lagu%20tema.mp3

Some interesting things:

http://www.fortunecity.com/emachines/e11/86/
http://www-bcs.mit.edu/people/adelson/checkershadow_illusion.html <-- (I fully did not believe this one but I checked, it's true.)

PURCHASES!

1x New glasses because I'm getting more and more blind by the moment (actually I can't really tell the difference using these new improved more degreeness pair and my old ones) - The glasses are silver-frameless with orange lens edge coating. ~$240.

1x New sunglasses because I lost my old pair and plus these ones are cool, orange tint, black partial cut-off frame. $155.

Lots of new clothing - nice shirts, black pants, the works. ~$140.

That's all. These glasses are weird, for some reason things are still kinda fuzzy. But then again I am sleepy and judgement impaired so...hmm.

EPISODE TWENTY FOUR: The end of an era, the start of another.

Dammit. I flew back yesterday to here (Malaysia) on a Fokker 50 (tee hee Fokker). It's so crazy, that a plane with such tiny propellers can fly so fast. I want to go back to Taiwan, I was having so much fun! But I think I've made my mum promise to let me go back early next year. I hope so. I hope so...well this means school is coming up soon which is a good and bad thing.

Good thing - 7th Form!

Bad thing - 7th Form!

Hmm breakfast time.

He's out. That's like a new record.

Another ten minutes....

Hmm, my cousin has been in the toilet for over an hour. Hmm.

I leave tomorrow! NOTWANTINGTOGO! NONONONONONO!

NO!!!!!!!

EPISODE TWENTY THREE: Sashimi, tempura, sushi, miso....

We wents to a Japanesey restaruants today...my uncle ordered $2500 worth of food for the five people who went (me, him, my cousin, his mum and my grand-dad). Damn its expensive. Bloody good, but expensive. It's very scary that I ate $500 worth of food. Very scary indeedy (but there was a lot of it, I must say)

I have one day left, really. I don't want to go. I don't want to go!!! NO! NO!

Ahem. Also, I went looking for clothes today with my aunt and two of her friends, and I scored a strange-smelling leather jacket with furry bit ($250, which is quite a saving from the first one I spotted at $1250) and leather gloves ($100 a pair, comfy). I tried to buy stuff for my brothers but I don't know what they like.

Hmm. I don't want to leave dammit! I will definitely come back next year on the 1st of February, I will. I've promised, I must. Let's hope my mum and dad will let me.

Points of interest for today:

1. Elevator Action

Remember that retro game where baddies would go up and down elevators and you had to kill them all? Well, that has nothing to do with this. Being really bored today waiting for guests to arrive so we could go to dinner, I decided to stand in the lift for this apartment, and wait for them in the lift. I met a lot of strange and interesting people, including:

A tall asian person (WOW.)
An old lady.
A servant.
Another random non-descript woman.
A guy who lived on the same floor as my mum's family.

That guy told me off for being on the lift because he said I was scaring people. I knew I was ugly but not THAT ugly. Anyway, it so happened that they were going to be late so I waited on a lift for half an hour for nothing. =P

2. Burn!

Today I so totally ate dinner with my cousin and my aunt's friend's kids. All pretty much around my age. It was crazy cause we went to some Japanese place and then cooked food on this hot plate thingy. Yeah...that's about it.

I don't want to leave! I don't want to leave! I plan to save up money for another trip back here for early next year, when the holidays actually do overlap and I can run around and stuff.

I DONT WANT TO LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!oneshiftplusone.

EPISODE TWENTY TWO: Made in China.

I went shopping with my aunt to replace the wallet I lost today. I got a really TOTALLY AWESOME AND COOL AND EXPENSIVE (NT $280) replacement. Let me describe it for you:

It's black with grey stitching and patches of red, such as red velcro and a red tab which holds the keychain holder. There is a note compartment, a coin compartment, space for about six cards (more if you shove more than one card into one slot) and one photo or ID Card, and comes with a little strapcarry thing. The thing that sold it for me though, was the little tag on the front which proudly reads the following:

XL Zolo (r) (byA.R. Design Studio)

57% No Cencept
100% Sincerity
43% Good Sense
Attached Quality

I mean, how cool is that?!?! 43% of it was spontaneously created as if they didn't give a shit about the customer, and the rest of the wallet isn't made in good sense (the spontaneous parts are supposedly good sense). The quality is attached, so you can detach it and place it onto other items that may need quality, just don't lose the quality anywhere (say in a waiting lounge for an airport.) Isn't made in China great? At least they're honest (and 100% sincere while they're at it..)

EPISODE TWENTY ONE: Only in Taiwan.

Only in Taiwan can you get really silly brand names and models. Examples:

KYMCO Spanker (A Motorcycle)
Is Coffee (A coffee shop...)
Wanko (Women's clothing brand)
Hung Tent (Guy's clothing brand)

There's also an abundance of horribly done English translations, which never cease to be amusing, but I suppose that is in the inherent nature of the chinese language. For example, key translated to Chinese and back into English could potentially turn into "want to die". Yeah.

Interesting side note, my mum plays the piano (well, played, she hasn't practiced since raising us bothersome kids) and learn it since she was really small. I learnt today that in this house I'm living in is the oldest Yamaha piano in public in Taiwan...and the same piano has been all over Taiwan. It's so crazy! It's so cool! It's so totally awesome and cool! I never knew this, but now I know. So many interesting stories.

In other news, McDonalds has taken it too far. What the hell is with this "I'm Loving It" shit? I mean, all over the world, the ads are all lame, stereotypical and have crap rap music. (you can't spell crap without rap). I want to see local stuff, not some white guy dancing on TV.

Yes. My cousin has come home. He comes home like way earlier nowadays, must be exams. I have also been downloading LOTS of music, including:

Symphony of Evangelion (Two CDs)
Cowboy Bebop OSTS (Five CDs)
Chobits (One CD)
Lots of random other stuff.

I still haven't been able to find an mp3 of Virtue by Jesse Cook though. That's a nice song. I've also utilised this HI SPEED INTERNETTAGE and grabbed some soundfonts to use back in New Zealand.

I don't want to leave Taiwan! If I didn't get that extension, then I wouldn't be here right now, I'd be on a plane. These days I'm going to miss.

My cousin (?) has an exam today! It's a big one! It's a University one! It's like the "year end" one!

It's like! CRAZY! Thank god I'm on holiday. Note to self: I'm on holiday. relaxxxxx.

EPISODE TWENTY: A double edged sword.

I went out to dinner tonight. Mundane things first!

I met my mother's brother's father's sister's son's wife (i think), she lives in LA. She's like fourty something but looks like 30. And so did some lady at the place we were eating at (look really young, i mean). It's either that or my mum looks really old >.<

Yeah. Anyway, my uncles drank alcohol. Alcohol is a strange thing. It makes one person better, but one person a shitlot worse. The older one became totally awesome and cool (with memorable advice to me such as telling me to put "medical" in front of whatever I decide to study to please my dad =P) while the younger one became a huge dickhead.

I'm sorry, I know it's impolite, but I can't help it. It was okay, but after like his fourth bottle of beer it got like shit. He kept talking to me about some crap about everyone getting drunk after work and something about business, then he keeps telling me to eat stuff when I've already told him I'm full and keeps telling me that I'm bored. I mean, how the hell can he tell me I'm bored? What the hell? I wasn't bored. I was irritated that he kept making stupid comments, but I wasn't bored - the aunt from L.A. was very cool (and actually spoke decent English). And then when we get home somehow he brings up me losing my wallet again, like I need reminding that I lost all my fucking I.D. and tells me off for like the third time.

Bleh.

It's probably really mundane to everyone reading this but it really changed the way I looked at him. Suddenly not as fun to be with any more.

Hmm, I really suck. My mum's brother found it.

>.<

Wow, I really rule at losing things. I just lost my mum's 8310.

Great. More scoldage.

EPISODE NINETEEN: Naked and wet, just the way I like it.

Hmm. A lot to say, since a lot has happened while I was at Hua Lien (there was a Netcafe there but I didn't have enough time to whip out a blog that would require the monster treatment you're about to receive). Anyway to help me out I wrote little one line or one word things while I was there at Hua Lien.

Magic Cable TV

Okay, it's crazy, I admit, a crazy cool. Even in a backcountry place in Hua Lien you get the magic of over 70 channels to vegetate to. It's impossibly cool and impossibly hard to choose a TV channel (then again I only watch AXN cause the other channels all mainly have chinese which is harder for me to listen to...thank goodness for C.S.I.)


90 years - pottery?

In Hua Lien I lived in my mother's brother's wife's father's friend's wife's mother's house. (That's a mouthful. Not that kind of mouthful, get your mind out of the gutter...) She's like 90 but sure doesn't act or look it. She makes mean pottery stuff, which rivals the works of probably 95% of the adults out there. You should be ashamed, 95% of adults, you really should be. Normally she lives by herself and she cooks cleans and feeds her two cats...at the age of 90. It's crazy, I tell you.

Naked and old

In Hua Lien I went to a hot spring for a nice relaxing soak. It would have been more relaxing if I wasn't totally naked and surrounded by old people...other than the invasion of privacy (which I think is pretty over-rated anyway), it was actually really relaxing and nice. All Japanesey feely too (I was told it's all the rage to get naked and sit in hot water there by my mother's brother's wife...is that my aunt?) And after the hot water, the gentle mountain breeze feels sooooo much better and my skin was like all smooth and stuff. Yeah. It was a very unique experience.

Japanese sleeps

At the house in Hua Lien I slept on a wooden floor with mattressess (is that how you spell it?) and pillows all Japanesey. It's too bad that after the first night out of three my sleep was ruined by two people who joined the gathering and their really loud snoring. One would start, then stop and be followed by the other. On the last night I couldn't take any more and instead of trying to sleep I got up and watched C.S.I. instead...I should really be sleeping rather than typing this but hey.)

Edibles

The house was also stocked with a veritable wealth of culinary delights too. Homecooked chicken (always good) and my two favourites, fruit drops (Grave of the fireflies style! I'm keeping them as a memento) and liquer chocolates (comes in different flavours, like Scottish Whiskey, Russian Vodka, etc.) Then there was the hand-made mua-chee (like...kinda like...I can't describe it, its like paste that's sticky and has a filling...bleh.) and also some un-named sweet snack covered in your choice of things (I only got to try sesame seeds, but I heard peanut is good too)

You thought a pegleg was bad

At the hand-made mua-chee shop (which was run by my mother's brother's wife's father's brother's son's best friend or something like that...) I met a three legged dog and his kid. So cute the puppy was, and so damn cool was the three legged dog. I got photos with it, but unfortunately I can't get them online yet. I might one day. Maybe. It actually has four legs, the said dog, but one of them is permanently mangled but he uses it as a portable support. I fully respect that dog for being able to walk with three legs. It's amazing.

Brotherhood

On a bus to a National Park in Hua Lien, there was this kid and his brother...I'm guessing they were about 6 and 12, roughly. I played around with the kid (oi, out of the gutter) and gave him candy cause he made my day. His brother very politely thanked me and they got off the bus a long time before I did. I so fully respect the bond between the two. R - e - s - p - e - c - t. I hope my candy goes to good use, they looked like they needed it more than I did, and maybe they will change the world. Or maybe they'll end up on the dole, who knows.

Seven star lake

I went to one of the beaches in the Hua Lien area as well. Taiwan has really awesome beaches! None of that pussy mundane sandy shit. It was hard core rocks and all and the waves were awesome and the water an awesome shade of blue. I want to go back there again...I did take away four rocks with me as a souvenier. And also have photos, but not available photos.

...

Yeah. I think that's it. Shit I spent like half an hour typing that. Oh well.

Oh yeah, I also bought S2 works which is like...ALL the Neon Genesis Evangelion music. It's so awesome. It's so awesome. My cousin (?) bought it for me and wouldn't let me pay him back so I suppose its a gift. I'm burning him a copy of all 7 cds because he doesn't have a copy...and plus he did pay for it. Or something.

bleh.

I'm sleepy. Bye bye.

EPISODE EIGHTEEN: Sarsvivor, The Global Outbreak.

You know that feeling you get when you look out the window, and something just isn't quite right? Like, a certain leaf on a certain tree bugs you, or the air has a hint of danger about it? Well, this has nothing to do with that. "This" is the result of craziness and hype and hysteria and some other things put in between. "this" is SARS, the so called epidemic that is supposedly on the resurgance.

There are all these banners all over the place with the word SARS on it. Me being Chinese illiterate, I can only assume they are about how to prevent SARS and some other crap. When I landed at the airport some sleazy looking nurse handed me a leaflet that taught me "how to keep out SARS" with helpful suggestions like "take a shower" and "record your temperature over ten days". These freaky people with temperature measurers are everywhere...if you want to enter a bank, you gotta get this thing pointed at your head and if your internal temperature is 1 degree above normal, don't expect to get in. Same goes for supermarkets, government buildings, monuments, if it's remotely popular or important, expect a temperature privacy invasion.

Yeah. That's my rant. It's quite annoying to always get your temperature checked. I'm going to a place called "Hua Lien" which supposedly has nice scenery tomorrow and I come back in a few says. I...think I've said that already. Hmm. Also, today I went to a Migrating Bird Park (but didn't see any birds) and went to try to watch a sunset, but that was ruined because of the petrochemical smog and crap in the air.

The New Year is comin. While my mum's brother's son (is that my cousin?) is out having fun with friends, I'm sitting here in front of a screen hitting buttons. Such is life. But I guess I don't mind, really. It's kind of relaxing. Ah! New Years Resolutions! Let me bullshit some up right now, which I probably won't follow.

1. Study really hard for 7th Form.
2. Get a girlfriend.
3. Be so totally awesome and cool that people will shatter into ice cubes if they can't handle the cool.
4. Eat healthy and stay healthy.

I don't think any of those are actually attainable, but isn't that the point of a resolution, to set a stupid goal which you realise you wouldn't get in a year anyway? I think so. Taiwan is so cool. I want to come here more often. I might study here, but that depends on what they offer. Maybe. I don't know.

Hmm.

I went to this crazy as templeshrinething today as well. They have all these Asian deities/gods which you pray to if you want certain things. Like, there's one for study, one for strength, one for health, one for love, one for conviction...you name it there's probably one for it. It's crazy too cause people burn incense for each one they pray to, and the average person prays to most of them (about 15?). That gives that person 15 incense sticks to light. Imagine about 200 people burning that amount of incense...and the incense that comes out...it's not pretty. My eyes hurt so bad after walkin through the main hallway thingmie.

Another funny thing is that people who want to add lights to counterbalance their bad foretold horoscope thingmies (that is, good luck their bad luck) do it through the temple/shrine thing...but there are so many people who do it, they get numbers and wait for their numbers, like a bank...and they have security guards, like a bank. You have to wonder how much money they make from that. Yeah.

Fireworks are going off now. New Year is in about 2 1/2 hours.

TV! TV!

EPISODE SEVENTEEN: Another day, another glory.

More, more and, even more random things I did today:

1. Went past an abandoned theme park (I also did this yesterday but I forgot to mention it)
2. Are, uh, tofu...uh...I can't translate it to English. I ate stuff. That's the one. >.>
3. Went to see the Taipei International Young Power Drum and Dance Festival 2004 (or some other similarly complex and overwhelming name). There were three performances today. First was the Taipei drum group (I forgot their official name) - it rawked, what with a lion dance and all as well. Gotta love the AZN rhythm. Then there was the Japanese Taiko stuff, and that was awesome too, with 20 minutes of non-stop rythmic orgasms. Then, there was the Koreans. They took ages to set up but they were pretty unique. A la stomp, they used lead pipes and rubbish bins quite well too (maybe it's in the upbringing, who knows...) Yeah, it kicked ass.

I'm going to some place called Hua Lien in Taiwan the day after tomorrow, so no internet for about four days. Not that any of you care. It's reputed to have quite nice scenery so I'm bringing my camera and stuff along.

That's all for now. It's like, 12.43. That's like, late.

EPISODE SIXTEEN: The New Adventures of New Taiwan.

Random things I did today in no particular order:

1. Went to some random mountains around Taipei.
2. Saw a goldfish farm. Took photos. Zoom lens not good enough so didn't get it as nice as I wanted.
3. Saw a Geothermal area. Mmm, just like New Zealand, smelling like crap and all.
4. Ate teppanyaki in Beitou, which I had been to before - the owner of the teppanyaki surprisingly enough goes to Kuching quite often. Made for good eatering conversationalism.
5. Went to a Night Market. Bought random necklaces. Discovered my Lord of the Rings cheapass replica's gold paint had faded. Now it looks silver. Maybe it's the air here. People here should tune their cars, the exhaust fumes are dirty as.
6. Bought two games for my sister. Looked for a really cheap as laptop. If you sit on a scooter for too long your butt really hurts, just like being raped by a guy I suppose (although it might not be too different with a woman, depending on what kind of woman you're talking about...)
7. Ate stuff.
8. Took photos of random things. Visited National parks all over the place.
9. Drivers here are really rude. So are some people who drive scooters. Instead of a nice "can you please move", people are too lazy to exercise their mouth muscles (I suppose they get tired, what with all the cock-sucking) and instead press the anti-user friendly horn once too often.

Also I thought of a nice band name. Anti-flaccid. I should run that by Brad, Tomo and John. Maybe they'll like it.

I'm tired. I don't remember what else I did today. I did too much. It's like, a doing marathon.

EPISODE FIFTEEN: 'Tis a busy place.

Apart from not having very good night's sleep (I don't handle noise at night well) but that's okay. Anyway today I did the following things, in no particular order:

1. Looked for Peach Beer. Couldn't find it. I did find Vodka Cruisers instead ($60 a pop) but decided against it.
2. Went to play badminton with my mum's brother's son (is that my cousin?) and his friends at NTU, National Taiwan University.
3. Went to Chang Kai Shek memorial park or summat. Damn it's a huge place. They had a military march exercise thingy going on as well, you know, with the military music and the random soldiers in uniform twirling rifles, a la FF7 if you still don't know what I'm talking about.
4.Wow, this keyboard is dirty. My fingers are black now. Damn.
5. Yes. That's it.
6. The last three probably don't really count as events per se.

Anyway I'm tired. But it's only 7.48...The sun sets at like 5.00 here, which is phenomenonally crazy for me. Still, I do like the night.

That's all. Bye bye.

EPISODE FOURTEEN.FIVE: It was a lie.

Well, uh, I do have net access. 10mbpsADSL! YAY! Pity its on a refurbished laptop. Thats okay, better than nothing. Taiwan roxxors I dont believe I'm here (well I do but it doesn't seem like I'm here...anyway)

Good news: I'm in Taiwan.
Bad news: I lost my wallet at the Kuala Lumpur airport.

The China Airline people are most likely working overtime turning over every chair and...stuff...at the airport lookin for my blue and orange ripcurl wallet. It answers to the name of "Bobo".

Alright. That's it. I have to unpack stuff. Bye bye.

EPISODE FOURTEEN: Some say Mongrel. I say, uh...

Tee hee. I'm going to Taiwan. IM GOING TO TAIWAN HAR HAR ON WILLIAM YOU DONT GET TO GO HAR HAR...

>.>

Hmm. Anyway, I should be packing and shit, but I'm typing this. How silly of me. A few notes before I leave:

1. I'm going to Taiwan.
2. I'm going to Taiwan.
3. I went to this real awesome Christmas party yesterday.
4. There was free alcohol.
5. I had a vodka lime and some crazy tropical Malibu stuff.
6. The guy who mixed it was half French half Asian. Now that's cool.
7. I wish I was half French half Asian. How cool would that be?
8. That guy had a brother. He was quite agro.
9. Their parents owned the home.
10. I should really be packing.
11. Vodka lime is strong.
12. I think my dad drove me home drunk that night. o_O
13. I watched Return of the King. ITS A GOOD MOVIE!
14. I wonder what Return of the Kong would be like...
15. I got a cheapass Ring imitation for $10. Maybe I can sell it for profit.

OKAY THATS IT BYE BYE FOR TWO WEEKS TO WHOEVER EVEN READS THIS CRAP

EPISODE THIRTEEN: Grave of the Fireflies.

Well, I got here safely. I have just finished watching what has got to be one of the most moving and powerful pieces of anime I have seen...ever. (Albiet the pirated version I watched had some really crappy problems, must find a DVD of said Anime in question one day). The Anime? Grave of the Fireflies. It's so depressing...if you think your life is crap, you should see what Seita and his four year old sister went through. One of the very few animes that actually moved me enough to well move me.

I'm depressed now. I admire the strength of Seita and the story is superbly written.

Also I finished The Amber Spyglass. That was a great book too. Man, so much emotion. Just thought I'd head up somethin before I go to sleep. Grave of the Fireflies. Go look for it now...it is better than Saving Private Ryan, that's for sure.

EPISODE TWELVE: Airport, eh.

My mum went into some travel lounge thingy and managed to convince them to let me in even though I wasn't a member. They were going to charge her $25 dollars as well, the kniving biatchurz, for what was nothing more than a really old crap computer (which is a hunk of crap compared to this one which I am using downstairs, for free...) So I left.

What else...oh yeah, I went and ate at Genki Sushi. It's so cool, they have like sushi on something that seems akin to a miniature baggage claim thingy...you know, the ones that go round and round - all you do is you pick the food you want and at the end they charge you all for it. It was good but expensive, cutting a nice dent into my $100 which I have to spend.

Before I left Auckland Airport (which is the airport I was in before this airport, Changi Airport, which is in Singapore), I went and bought the third book of Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" trilogy just so that I could read something while waiting and stuff I suppose. I finished the other book I brought with me anyway, it was quite a random book.

Hmm what else...these seats are comfy. I am listening to really strange muzak, such as "On The Wings of Love" and some crapped up version of "Fur Elise". And I am very tired.

Hmm. Moral for today is the CIAS Airport Lounge here in Changi Airport blows. Don't go there. Why not play on the free SeXBOX instead?

EPISODE ELEVEN: Baileys and milk do not mix.

I woke up. I was really bored. I thought, "HMM my brother made me some awesome drink with Baileys before". I decided to try it, mixin half baileys half milk together and drinkin it. Observations are as follows:

1. Milk is less dense than Baileys.

2. Lots of stirring will do nothing to mix the milk and baileys - it just globs up.

3. It tastes funny. Like milk, only alcoholic.

4. It clears your nose and warms you up.

5. I feel kinda funny now.

I suspect that milk and Baileys might be reacting within me as we speak and that some strange new undiscovered chemical is about to send me over the top and into the world of crazies where I have been known to visit occasionally. I did eat baked beans after that which made me feel much better. Food is a strange thing.

I am going overseas in, about, four days? I dont know I'm not good with numbers. That will be the extreme crapness of all crap since I am away from my normal computer (NOOOO) away from all my music (NOOOOO) and all my friends (meh.) I wouldn't mind if it was for a week or two, cause then I could snip up all these illegalities and pirated goods - but for a month, that's just a waste of time. At least I get to see Mr. Shiny Red Pearl drum-kit again - but I don't have a band to practise with! Shit happens I suppose.

Moral of the story kids: beware the potato.

EDIT: I have since gotten lots more logs of people in my ass. But they are, seriously, very disturbing. One log which will rename anonymous contained animal cruelty and sharp objects.

EPISODE TEN: I have trapped two people in my ass already.

With the lovely promise of sexual favours, five potatoes and a sliced pineapple...I have done the impossible. TWICE! Take a look!

Case Study Number 1

My false alias being Hot_gay_guy.

Session Start: Tue Dec 02 02:43:38 2003
Session Ident: greg
Session Ident: greg (~user@34CF14CC.84648B99.25071CA0.IP)
greg: hi are you a gay?
Hot_gay_guy: hi, yes
Hot_gay_guy: you?
greg: yeah... asl pls?
Hot_gay_guy: 18/m/England
Hot_gay_guy: got pictures? im really horny tonight
greg: well im 18, male, mexico...
greg: you have some pics?
Hot_gay_guy: no, sorry
Hot_gay_guy: you got any?
Hot_gay_guy: my cock is throbbing for some action
Hot_gay_guy: Can you please shove a potato up my ass?
* Hot_gay_guy passes greg a hot spud
greg: sory non?
Hot_gay_guy: um, you know what a potato is?
Hot_gay_guy: vegetable? you eat?
greg: yeah?
Hot_gay_guy: i would really like it if you could push one up into my asshole
Hot_gay_guy: please
Hot_gay_guy: hello baby are you there?
greg: what if lets take a scripted kind of sex... do you want it
Hot_gay_guy: i would really like if you can please insert potato into my anus
greg: okey here we go baby...
greg: now here it is
greg: uuuhhhmmm...
greg: so how does it feel baby?
Hot_gay_guy: Ooooh
Hot_gay_guy: thats good
Hot_gay_guy: oooh put it all the way in
greg: yeah uuuhhhnnnnmmm...
Hot_gay_guy: please last guy i was with he managed to fit five, can you fit more
greg: sure...
* Hot_gay_guy pass to you another potato
greg: uuuhhhmmm...
greg: uuuhhhmmm...
Hot_gay_guy: oooooh thats one all the way it
Hot_gay_guy: oooh thats good
Hot_gay_guy: please next one
Hot_gay_guy: quick I horny sex want tnow
greg: uuuhhhmmm...
greg: uuuhhhmmm...
Hot_gay_guy: oooooh
Hot_gay_guy: tell me what it looks like!
greg: great
Hot_gay_guy: explain muchas detail please
greg: now i want you to suck my dick baby
Hot_gay_guy: NO! INSERT ALL THE POTATOES FIRST
Hot_gay_guy: and then i give you good sucking
greg: its like a big kind of hole
greg: and i love it
Hot_gay_guy: okay
Hot_gay_guy: Now put the third potato in
Hot_gay_guy: describe detail a lot please tell me what happening as you push push
greg: yeah ooohhhh...
Hot_gay_guy: describe NOW
greg: the potato is getting inserted now
greg: and it blows your ass
greg: fully
Hot_gay_guy: OOOH
greg: got a big hole?
greg: yah
Hot_gay_guy: Yes its being split byt the spud
greg: ooohhhmmmm...
Hot_gay_guy: you have three more potatoes left
Hot_gay_guy: put them all in...at the SAME TIME!
greg: ok lets enough for this... your asshole is now over loaded...
greg: why dont you suck my dick now?
Hot_gay_guy: Describe my asshole at the moment
Hot_gay_guy: what does it look lke
Hot_gay_guy: hello?
greg: a great island
Hot_gay_guy: describe the island
greg: i dont know
Hot_gay_guy: if you dont know then you'll have to put this pinapple slice sideways up my behind
Hot_gay_guy: after than then i will suck your dick
* Hot_gay_guy passes greg a pineapple slice
Hot_gay_guy: come on stick it up there with the rest of the potatoes
Hot_gay_guy: I will give you very hot sex i promise
Hot_gay_guy: just please for me just i want the feel of the spiky pinaple and the creamy potato in my ass
Hot_gay_guy: and then you can eat it
greg: why dont you start, giving fuck with me my cock is so very hard now
Hot_gay_guy: tell you what
Hot_gay_guy: you shove that pineapple slice up my ass and ill suck your cock
Hot_gay_guy: and while i suck your cock you eat the pineapple and potato salad.
greg: ok no thanks,...
Hot_gay_guy: please
Hot_gay_guy: I am very good oral sex give
greg: no thanks
* Hot_gay_guy slowly runs his hands over greg's cock
Hot_gay_guy: DO IT
greg: thats my honey...
Hot_gay_guy: ok now that im suckig your cock please shove that pineapple slice up my ass
greg: sureeeee...
greg: here we go...
greg: now i am shoving it... just like a big cock running off
greg: hhhmmmm...
Hot_gay_guy: oh thats good
greg: yeah now suck it
Hot_gay_guy: okay, you have to eat the pineapple and potato salad
greg: now i am eating it... uuhhhmmm... diliciuos
greg: hhhmmmm...
Hot_gay_guy: ooooh
Hot_gay_guy: My asshole is eating your face now.
Hot_gay_guy: You can't control it
Hot_gay_guy: My ass has just eaten your entire head.
greg: hhhmmmm...
greg: hhhmmmm...
greg: hhhmmmm...
Hot_gay_guy: You cannot talk
Hot_gay_guy: you can only eat the salad.
Hot_gay_guy: you are stuck in my ass with five potatoes and pineapple slices for ever
greg: hhhmmmm...
greg: hhhmmmm...
greg: hhhmmmm...
greg: shittttttt.....
Hot_gay_guy: You can't get out.
Hot_gay_guy: You are stuck forever
Hot_gay_guy: but at least i feed you
Hot_gay_guy: do you want some shit
greg: fuck you
Hot_gay_guy: Oh
Hot_gay_guy: sorry
Hot_gay_guy: I cant hear you
Hot_gay_guy: youre trapped in my ass
Hot_gay_guy: youll have to eat your way out through the starchy goodness
Hot_gay_guy: I'm going to go now. You think twice before you put potatoes up someones ass, mr mexican!
Session Close: Tue Dec 02 03:25:03 2003

Case study number 2 (the better one in my opinion)

My alias being SexyGurl69.

Session Start: Tue Dec 02 04:12:24 2003
Session Ident: sexyman23
Session Ident: sexyman23 (sexyboy@horny-4E70EDC.sympatico.ca)
sexyman23: hey want to chat
SexyGurl69: only if you'll shove potatoes up my ass
* sexyman23 grabs a ptoato
SexyGurl69: oooh yeah
SexyGurl69: go baby im waiting
* SexyGurl69 bends over
* sexyman23 starts shoving it in
SexyGurl69: Oooooh
SexyGurl69: Put it all the way in
* sexyman23 puts it asll in
SexyGurl69: I want you to fit five potatoes up there like the last guy i was with!
sexyman23: mmmmmm ok
* sexyman23 grabs potato 2, and shoves that in
SexyGurl69: OoOOOH
sexyman23: yeah baby, this is getting me hard
* sexyman23 grabs potato 3
SexyGurl69: OOOOOH
sexyman23: can't believe its all going in
SexyGurl69: are the potatoes green?! I love green potatoes!
sexyman23: they are
SexyGurl69: OOOOH
SexyGurl69: fit them all in! OOOOH
* SexyGurl69 moans in pleasure
SexyGurl69: you can do it, just like my 4 year old son!
* sexyman23 strokes his cock while doing this
sexyman23: here comes potato 4
SexyGurl69: OOOOOH
SexyGurl69: fit it all in!
sexyman23: its all in baby
SexyGurl69: And don't forget after the five potatoes the sliced pineapple!
* SexyGurl69 loves Sexyman's hard cock
sexyman23: number 5
SexyGurl69: Ooooh
SexyGurl69: Theres still plenty of room baby
sexyman23: how bout sucking my cock baby
SexyGurl69: Alright, keep the potatoes and sliced pineapple coming!
* sexyman23 shoves now the pineapple
* SexyGurl69 sensually sucks sexyman's cock
SexyGurl69: OOOh i can feel the ridges of the pineapple
SexyGurl69: OOOH
SexyGurl69: Oh baby thats good
sexyman23: mmmmmm yeash
SexyGurl69: can you please eat the potato and pineapple salad in my ass?
* SexyGurl69 ocntinues to suck his cock
sexyman23: ohhhhhhhh
SexyGurl69: eat the salad! oooooh
* sexyman23 goes to ur ass and starts eating it
SexyGurl69: OOOOH
sexyman23: mmmmmmmm delicious
SexyGurl69: oooh
sexyman23: that was good
SexyGurl69: All of a sudden, Sexygurl's huge ass envelopes Sexyman's face. He is stuck!
sexyman23: oh god
SexyGurl69: I have forced your head into my ass and trapped you there.
SexyGurl69: You cannot escape and you are stuck in my ass forever.
sexyman23: damn eh
SexyGurl69: Nobody can hear you - you must now eat your way out through the starchy goodness
sexyman23: lol
SexyGurl69: are you going to eat you way out through my all encompassing huge booty?
* sexyman23 starts eating
SexyGurl69: Oooh
SexyGurl69: are you getting fat as you eat this?
sexyman23: yeah
SexyGurl69: oooh how fat
sexyman23: pretty fat
sexyman23: lot of stuff in ur ass
SexyGurl69: Oooh
SexyGurl69: My ass is getting bigger as we speak. You're running out of air! youll have to breathe my farts.
sexyman23: LOL
* SexyGurl69 rips a fat one
sexyman23: this too much for me
SexyGurl69: sorry baby
SexyGurl69: you cant escape my ass
sexyman23: oh well
SexyGurl69: bye baby
Session Close: Tue Dec 02 04:29:42 2003

Moral of the story kids - don't put potatoes up someone's ass, they might just eat you. Stupidity attacks both gay and straight people.

EPISODE NINE.NINETY NINE

Don't forget to tell me what screen name you would like your recording to be attributed to! Thanks!

EPISODE NINE.NINE

I forgot, one more thing - join the "Blak Omen Is My Bitch" project! All you have to do is record yourself saying either "Blak Omen is my Bitch" or " I am blak omen's bitch" and send it to me via email (darketernal_13@hotmail.com) or talk to me on MSN and send it there (darketernal_13@hotmail.com)

Every file counts! When I get enough, I'll start up a website with all the files on it for your listening pleasure.

EPISODE NINE.FIVE

Sorry about the loss of the names. Silly blogger picks them up as tags or something and deleted them. Hope you can still kind of read them.

EPISODE NINE: Horny and stupid is NOT a good combination.

Alright, me and my ANZ buddies being really bored just then went onto SexNet, a sex IRC server and posed as girls. The people there are so incredibly easy to fool. I learned many things there today, posing as SexyGurl69.

1. People actually dont mind if I get wet over potatoes.

what?
potatoes, i want someone to shove a big potato into my pussy
Will you please shove that spud all the way up into my pussy, and then cover it in white creamy sauce?
sure baby

hi sexy girl
i hon
;)
are you looking for a partner sweety?
yeah baby
do you have a potato on you?
i want to feel a huge potato in my pussy
yes wanna see?
okay
accept it honey
what is it hon
my pic
i am sending it to you
okay hon
do you have your pic sweety?
no sorry hon
send me your pic
can you describe me yourself baby? what do you look like?
blonde
deep blue eyes
shaved legs
d cup
a fat ass
mmm great
what do you wear now?
a toupee
do you like my cobra?
very much baby
its so sexy
what do you want to do with him sweety?
i want SEX
i am in my room now completely nude rubbing my cock
oooh thats good
do you have a potato on you?
* SexyGurl69 loooves potatoes
yes
i want to just...uuhhh,,,feel that potato in my pussy
mmmm baby i want to fill you
oooh yes
SHOVE THAT SPUD UP MY PUSSY UH UH UH
sorry hon
potatoes drive me crazy
oh no
sorry hon i gotta go, im late for a meeting
bye babe
see you here tomorrow hon?
see you
ok
mcpalabiyik@yahoo.com
send e-mail when you want me ok
sure hon
waiting for your e-mail sweety

[Feel free to email that guy lots of potatoes]

2. Some people never get turned off.

want to fuck?
No, cause i'm very old
my pussy is shrivelled up and you suck at sex anywya
asl?
69/m/f/Germany

3. Some people are incredibly stupid.

kewl
male sweety
n u
hermaphrodite
i cater for all
ic
u female or male?
both
;)
lol
u a she male?
yes hon

4. I can pass off as being a Japanese girl called Candy.

wassup sexygurl?
my boyfriends boner
but he doesnt know
that his is only 3"
and i dont like it
lol too bad babe, you at his house?
yeah, hes gone to sleep
where ya from?
Japan
you and your bf japanese?
no, my boyfriend is from america
damn...too bad you didn't pick a bigger cock :( what do you look like?
18, female - blonde hair, deep blue eyes, shaved legs, d cup
im about to dump my boyfriend, he's really bad with sex
mmm nice big fuckable tits ;)
you got a pic of you?
no sorry hon
need to get some of those great tits! ;)
you can feel them if you want
I want to lay my long cock between them and fuck the head into your mouth ;)
oooh that sounds good
when you last get some real dick hon?
when i was 12
how old are ya now?
18
how big a cock you get fucked by back then
7"
heh who's was that?
it was my brother's best friend
he was so sexy
fucked you good huh ;)
yeah
i was screaming all the way through
do you have a potato? im really horny
he fuck you up the ass too?
yeah
i was bleeding
and loving it
are you horny? im horny, can you please shove a potato up my pussy?
you up for a hot nasty slutty phonefuck?
only if you shove a potato up my pussy
lol sure ;) why yo ulike that?
cause its so warm and soft
my cock would feel better ;)
you bf get mad if you phoenfucked someone?
how about you shove a potato up my pussy and then your cock into my pussy?
no, my boyfriend sleeps liek a rock. hes right here beside me, and snoring so he wont hear my moaning
how loud are ya?
very
what's your #?
5331298
full number I gotta call, I'm in the usa.
oh okay
im not sure what the country code is but
ill be right back hon ill check
ok
my mobile is 0401453264, i still have to find the number for here
so I'd just dial the country code adn that 040 number adn I'd get you huh :)
yup
ill look up the country for you hon hold on
* Darkniss holds onto your big tits, squeezing and pinching them
do you know what the country code for australia is, baby?
+61 hon
call me
yea...what country are you in babe?
australia - my number is +61 04 01453264
ok ;) what's your name sexy
Candy
mmm you a hot big titted japanese slut Candy?
yes baby
calling now
what'cha doing now baby?
waiting for your call hon
call me
im really horny
good girl ;) calling now
cum on call me baby im waiting
im so horny, i want phone sex honey
didn't work first time trying again
okay hon
oh hon it rang once!
try again
ok
are you ringing baby?
trying hon
it keeps cutting off hon
wait a bit, it takes a bit of time to connect to my phone
* SexyGurl69 slowly fingers her pussy in anticipation
ok hang on
* SexyGurl69 puts one finger up her pussy, withdraws and licks it slowly
whats wrong honey, why aren't you calling me? i want phone sex, my boyfriend is not good enough
got it baby
calling now ;)
:D
lol poor bastard ;)
call and ask for candy, hon
lol who picked up baby?
it was my boyfriend
i tried to keep him away
lol why's he picking up your mobile?
he's gone back to sleep again
it was next to him on the dresser hon
ok pick it up and walk out of the room.
alright
im outside baby
call me
go into the living room with it.
ok hon
im there, im waiting for your call
lol right if you're there why are you typing to me ;)
my laptop is portable, you didnt think i had a computer in my bed did you hon ;)
call me, im horny now
ok callin in a second.
thanks hon

Believe it or not, that guy actually did call the number. The number belonged to someone I knew online.

To sum up, tonight I learned that there are always stupid horny people somewhere in the world.

EPISODE EIGHT: A matrix within a matrix.

"The Smith Neo battle was a lot cooler than DBZ fights. I mean, obviously it was similar, since they were fighting in the air and flying around and stuff. But I thought the fight looked really cool. It's not like they were shooting lasers or fireballs or shouting out the name of their technique or gathering energy for 15 hours."

Yes, it is well known that The Matrix is much better than DBZ. But I'm sick of the recent flood of people bagging The Matrix: Revolutions.

Okay, I admit, I didn't really like the ending. In fact I hated it...it feels like they're planning another movie because they sure as hell didn't explain anything in an easily accessible way. But the rest was gorgeous. CGI may not be your bag but you've got to be impressed with where Neo punched Smith. You have to. Sure I would have enjoyed a movie with more substance but that was some high quality action stuff.

[On a sidenote, the Matrix comics on the official site are some good shit - take a gander...search on Google or somethin]

After watching Reloaded I thought the reason why Neo could control the Sentinels was because everyone was in a Matrix within a Matrix - so that everyone in Zion was actually also in the matrix because they are the 1% who wouldn't accept the system...but they are in the greater system.

But then after Revolutions, they didn't explain how Neo could. What does being the one really comprise of? How did Smith implant himself into Bane? If it was as easy as picking up the phone then why didn't any other Agent do it before? Wouldn't it be interesting if there was an alternate matrix where the machines had Smith and the humans were about to destroy the machines forever and it was up to Smith to defeat Neo who had gone crazy and slept with every woman he saw for years and years and therefore had his own army? They could have turned the tables - that would have been interesting.

Even though it was basically an action flick it was a good one. They actually built an APU...you gotta commend them on effort.

So stop bagging it, I'm sure you're allowed not to like it: just don't go overboard and tell everyone you see that it sucks dick. A simple "I (emphasis on the I that is in this case you) didn't like it" will be fine.

I'm looking forward to more of the Matrix world...like getting the Animatrix and more Matrix Comics.

EPISODE SEVEN: Exams are a very annoying thing.

Right. It has been established that exams are coming from the pits of hell and will eat all our souls one day. Have you ever wondered who was the smart guy who came up with the idea of testing like 12 years worth of knowledge in three hours? I'd like to meet that fucker and knock him out. Make him sit an exam or two. And fail it. Mufuha. I should really be studying for my exam on Monday...and also completing my Photography work and my seminar...but instead I'm rambling. Figures. Well at least I've done about two exams already out of about 10. Booya.

In other news, my Soundclick account is under review or something like that. ^^" I got some fresh hatemail too, take a look - a link in the link bar. Also, according to the very intelligent bar you see at the top of the page, monkey pics is a related search in accordance to this page. Bah.

I've finished the SNES RPG Bahamut Lagoon recently. A fantastic game, a throwback to FFT, FF6, Ogre Battle and Monster Rancher all in one. Fantastic piece of work - thank god people translated it even though it was never released outside of Japan.

Yes. I'm stuck on things to say, I'm procrastinating doing my Photography and Maths stuff.

Goodbye.

EPISODE SIX: Why chain letters should be burned and fucking ripped to virtual pieces and given to fat ladies in Ethiopia to roll around in.

Alright. First off you all know that me, I'm a poor guy. Ergo - I have a Hotmail account, as it's FREE!!! and also Microsoft owns my whole family so I have to use Microsoft products or else.

Right. Well I've had it for at least five years now. And I have a bad habit of not deleting old emails. So I have 40 pages of emails, 40 of those pages I do not need. My hotmail account nicely tells me that I "am almost out of space!" and recommends I delete some stuff. Of course, naturally, me being me the lazy fuck, I leave them there. I might need them one day, says the voice of "reason".

So, along come fucking chain letters. Since the newer ones nicely involve fucking 100kb pictures which is enough to overload my account (i mean, why the fuck can't they compress the shit down to like 1 kb anyway?), I lose access to my account and nobody can email me in until I delete the sodding thing.

There are many types of chain letters.

EXHIBIT A: The lovey cutesy picture chain letters.

This chain letter involves disgusting pictures of fat babies, cats that look like they're about to be eaten by a monkey and generally very sickening grotesque images. Not only do I not give a shit how "cute" they are but these are prime candidates to piss me off as:

1. They are useless.
2. They fucking take up like 1000294 kb in my account, 1000294 more than I need taken up.
3. They are useless.
4. Nobody gives a shit how cute they are.

So don't send me one of these or I'll eat your children, and your children's children.

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EXHIBIT B: The VIRUS WARNING! OH SHIZZLE!

OMG IF YOU SEE A TEDDYBEAR IN A POTHOLE DON'T OPEN IT! IT COULD POTENTIALLY BE A VIRUS! OR IT COULD POTENTIALLY BE A HUGE DICK ABOUT TO ASSRAPE YOU!

I hate them, usually because they're never true. It's the ones that cry wolf that let the other ones down.

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EXHIBIT C: The "official" ones.

WARNING IF YOU DO NOT SEND THIS EMAIL TO 1238957093128570918 people, we will delete the account because we can.

Yeah right, first of all, Mr...uh....Walter Patrick is NOT Resource manager for Hotmail. He won't delete my account and nobody else will. I mean, could you get any more desperate to want to send a stupid email all over the virtual world? You might as well just send one to everybody saying "LOOK HERE! I'm a STUPID ASSHAT!"

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EXHIBIT D: LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS!

These usually ask you 100 questions, some which aren't questions (for example, the word Bra is NOT a question), some of which are questions but are stupid ones (example - Have you ever loved a rabid monkey shizzle before?). In an attempt to send their stupid questionnaire, they flood your inbox. Half of the questions you don't need to know the answers to, and the other half you should know the answers to if you were their friend.

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In my opinion (which is generally the absolute truth), the only worth Chain letters are the chain letters which hassle chain letters. Of course there will come a day that I will add them to the list of FUCKING ANNOYING THINGS but for now they're amusing. The good ones though. I've been prone to make one or two and sending that to the creator of a chain letter.


Anyway that's my rant on chain letters. Long weekend! Yeah! Photography assignment over the long weekend! Not so yeah!

Okay I'm lazy now that's all I have to say. Goodnight.

EPISODE FIVE: The end of an era, the start of another.

Exams. Gay.

Yeah.

And also I not School Prefect. Good and bad I suppose.

Why is Johnho not one? Who knows.

This must be a very boring post to read, let me spice it up a bit

BOOBIES AND FREE NAKED LADY PORN!

There. Goodnight.