::The Plight of the Reformed Asian::

Yes, it is a sad thing indeed. If you know not what I am talking about let me explain.

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Once upon a time, there was a magical land where people were very happy and courteous and everyone was respected and stuff. Among them they lived peacefully with their nice differences complementing each other to create a unified whole identifiable as New Zealand. But then along came the UNREFORMED ASIAN CROWD. Now, let me make this clear. Most Asians I know lie within the Reformed Asian crowd. That is, the grouping which moved to New Zealand not to make the rest of us look like arses, but to actively participate in the cultural gathering that is New Zealand. These people know what the Treaty of Waitangi is, the history of New Zealand and Maori culture.

Now, the UNREFORMED ASIAN CROWD. You can spot an Unreformed Asian by their poor manners, lack of social consideration and downright just being plain stupid. Rather than try to describe all the traits, I'll highlight the major ones with case studies.

::CASE STUDY ONE - That guy who always walks the opposite way to me on the way home from school::

From far away you may think he's a reformed Asian. BUT NO! That is merely a facade. This is the real unreformed stuff, the one that makes all of us who know better cringe. He wears white, has a really strange smile around all the time and spits on the floor on a whim. He immediately just looks really stupid. Now, us Reformed Asians don't need any more stupid looking Asians. We're already having a hard enough time.

::CASE STUDY TWO - The driver from overseas who probably faked their license::

You're driving along the road when suddenly BANG here comes screaming a BMW in front of you and cuts you off just like that. A quick glance at the driver's seat reveals that it's a snotty Asian with the courtesy and manners of a pig. Obviously, the driver's been too lazy to read the road code or can't read the road code, shown by the lack of knowledge of the rules of the road. Us Reformed Asians don't really need more fodder for the "Asian Driver" line. I swear this impacts on our insurance or something...

::CASE STUDY THREE - The obnoxiously loud Asian student who doesn't work in class::

Now, I promote cultural diversity and continuation of tradition and all. But there is kind of a limit I think. The limit is when you yell out really loud in groups of three in any other Asian language and dance around and don't make an effort in class but just sit there yabbering loudly in an Asian language, distracting and/or irritating people who actually go to school to learn.

I can't think of any other cases but I'm sure there's more. Anyway, these Unreformed Asians are giving us Reformed Asians a bad name. So how do you tell a Reformed Asian from a non reformed one?

1) An Asian at an ANZAC commemoration service without a camera. It is very important they are cameraless, or the chances are that this Asian is only looking for holiday photos and was wondering what the crowd was all about.
2) They smile and greet people they don't know on the street. A friendly hello, a warm smile - you won't get those from the unreformed.
3) Use of any of the following words: bugger, mate, marae
4) They support the All Blacks.

Yeah. I'm not sure what I've typed above makes sense cause it's almost 11.00 pm (SHOCK HORROR) but regardless I'm very tired so...I take no responsibility for what I've said.